Preschool

Actually, preschool started yesterday... (I missed the 1st day of school picture.)

This year they go 3 days a week for 3 hours a day. I get to be a teacher's aid in their "Turtle" class, thanks to my friend Brittany who let me in on this opportunity. I am so excited. I had planned for them to continue in the same preschool they went to last year, but the staff lost their funding and their building. I just couldn't make up my mind on what I wanted to do, but, mostly, What would be best for my children? It felt a little scary being in charge of that when I didn't have a clue.

One preschool a lot of my friends were taking, or had taken, their child(ren) to was taught by a member of our church, so, it sounded good to me. But, I missed registration deadline because of my plans to keep the twins where they were already going. I intended to check out a few other preschools, but their cost made me unmotivated. After all, I could keep them home for free, but, thinking back on the fire incident (see earlier post) I felt encouraged to do something. Mostly, though, I felt strongly that giving them this experience with other children was the least I could do to prepare them for all-day kindergarten next year. (How I am dreading next fall. --- Perhaps, it is really me that needs this transition period!)

I know, I know, I have been reminded multiple times, by multiple caring individuals, that, I will have so much more time to do all the many "wonderful things" I wish I had an extra hour or two for now. But, I still find myself dreading all that time away from my little ones. I'm simply not ready to give my babies up to the school system after waiting 5 YEARS to get them. (Not to mention the last 2 of the 3 years Eli and I were dating. I was so ready to marry that boy and start a family with him. Frustrating as it can be, life --- just like my husband, mind you --- doesn't go by my plans. But, what Life took from me, Life blessed me with; and, it is so much more than what I dreamed up for myself.) After all, I do get to be a MOMMY! How I love to hear "Mommy" come from my own children's sweet voice. And, I LOVE having my children constantly with me, even when it does get crazy.

"When I was a little girl" (my daughter loves stories that start this way) my mom once told me that when I wake up to listen to the birds, they are singing "Good Morning." After that, I found myself lying in bed many mornings listening to the birds sing and I often smiled at the memory. Later, my mornings turned to silence. I sooooo longed to hear children's laughter in the home Eli and I made together. But, it didn't come. Not for what felt like many, many years. So, when I wake to laughter now, I can't help but lay and listen a little longer with a huge smile of overwhelming gratitude for my God who blessed me with that beautiful sound. I am living my dream!

Hmmmmmm, that was a huge tanget to go off on... perhaps I'll move it to a more appropriate place at a later date. I'll keep it here for now. Anyway, I guess I wish kindergarten would go back to 1/2 day. I wish more mom's cherished their little children and thought their time with them was too short. I wish I could learn from them. I wish I could be a better mom for my children. They so deserve the best. But they are mine to care for and love. My responsibility. So I must keep trying to do my very best. I can only pray that one day they will be able to see past all the crazy mom things I did and do and know that I was really, really trying to be a good mom and really wanted them to have the best because I really, really love them.