The Analogy of the Screws

I asked my son to do something. His quick response is the expected, "No!" At first I ignored his response. Then I wondered if I should ignore it. It's not really ok for him to tell me "no," is it? I could tell him again, as I have so many time before, that it's not ok for him to tell me no, but that would be fruitless and would be accompanied with a, "You hate me!" Another comment becoming all to common. But, I love him. And I am just so tired of fighting with him. What can I do... and I really wondered about it... and a scene comes into my head about two boards and some screws.

And, then, I wake up.

And I think about my dream until the alarm goes off.

I get up.

I go upstairs to wake up my son.

I kiss his his forehead. I kneel beside the bed and slide him down onto my lap for him morning prayer. (I do this with him almost every morning.)

He folds his arms. Bows his head, props it against the side of the bed. And I wait.

He goes back to sleep. (Ugh! Fighting already...)

I slide him off my lap onto the floor next to me saying my legs can't sit like that any longer and I kneel up higher.

He prays.

While on my knees we make his bed (whew, no fight).

I sit down on his bed and asked the dreaded question. "Do you want to start with your clothes or your toys?" meaning, tidy your room quickly. (I actually don't see any toys this morning.)

Whine... whine... whine... but, he begins picking up his clothes.

And I wonder about my dream. Should I share it with him? I sit down on the floor again and motion for him to come sit with me. He snuggles right up in my arms. And this is what I remember telling him:

"I had a dream last night about us. You told me, 'No!' but I really wanted you to know how much I love you and I wondered how I could make sure you knew. 

"And then in my dream I saw two boards that needed to be screwed together. It came with screws, but, I already had some screws.

"Mine were golden and I chose to use mine instead; but, after screwing the boards together I saw the top of my screws wouldn't fit inside the board right because the tops were square instead of round. I realized then that I should have used what had been given to me."



He thinks about it for a minute. Then gets up and I'm off to wake up his sister.

Later that morning, I ask him to start his piano practice.

"Ok, Mom!" he answers happily. (Now that was completely unexpected!) I could tell he felt loved though.

But, what does the dream mean? Anything?

Faces of the Son

A Time to Love

We got an email from my father-in-law to this link to an amazing prodigy artist & poet, Akiane.

I have been looking at her art gallery.

She's AMAZING! Her talent is truly a gift from our Heavenly Father. She's doesn't attend the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saint, but her artwork and poetry says she understands gospels truths at a very intimate level. She says some of her paintings were reveled to her by God --- I have to agree with her.

She makes me want to be a better person, and live life with deeper purpose.

Here's a small tidbit --- a story she wrote to accompany one piece of her artwork.


Time


Once upon a time, in an island there lived six feelings and emotions: Happiness, Knowledge, Love, Sadness, Richness and Vanity. One day they discovered that the island began sinking! So all of them built boats and canoes and left, one by one. Except for Love. Love wanted to delay abandoning her beloved island as long as possible.

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.
Richness was passing by Love in a boat. Love asked, "Richness, can you take me with you?"

Richness answered, "Sorry, Love, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat, so there is no place here for you. With both of us in here we will sink for sure."

Love next asked Vanity who was also sailing by, but Vanity offered the same answer.
"I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by, so Love asked, "Sadness, take me along with you."
"Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!", sadness said in a gloomy voice.

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so preoccupied with her happiness that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you."

It was an elder with a tattered head scarf. An overjoyed Love jumped into the boat. When they arrived at a dry land, the elder went her own way. 
Love looked around and saw the Knowledge who was the first to have landed there a while ago.

"Who Helped me?" Love asked.
"It was Time," Knowledge answered.
"Time? Why time?" Love was surprised. 

"Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is." The Knowledge smiled.

Eating Healthy... Words to Ponder

Once again I am delving into another health quest.

I thought I had a doctor that was going to help me. At least he seemed to be trying...

Then, he had a stroke.

I called to get my prescription filled agian. That's how I found out.

A different doctor was suggested. He wanted to monitor me again while I was on the medication. Why can't he just look at my doctor's notes? He said it was because he hadn't seen me before. Okay... I called my insurance to make sure this procedure would be covered again so soon. Yes. Good. So, I'll just start up with this new doctor. But... they want me to pay 1/2 the infertility fee up front to continue the procedure. No, I would not pay the fee, this was not about being treated for infertility!!! Fortunately, this doctor agrees to go ahead as before and orders the first of two meds for me. I pick it up. I take those as directed. 10 days later I call in to get the second half of the prescription and to set up the appointment with the doctor. Then his nurse, who I'm on the phone with, tells me that after the appointment I will need to stop at the front desk and pay half the infertility fee. I remind her that we are not treating infertility and that the whole reason I had started visiting them was to see if I could take metformin. (This doctor is not even the fertility specialist --- the specialist is the one who had the stroke!) I politely (just-in-case I have to call back) said I would call back later to make the appointment  --- I was FURIOUS! What a stupid trick! Do I appear so STUPID that it seems professional to dangle a prescription in front of me like bait so they can have my money. So, what did I do? I cried. I cried in self pity and defeat. And, later that day, when I wasn't feeling so bad, I called my husband and gave him the story, I said, "I am so sad" which made me cry again.

He wanted to make it all better. He told me to find a doctor in SLC and make an appointment and we would go there on Saturday. I agreed and cried some more.

So, I searched the internet. There's one place in SLC and one in Pleasant Grove that specializes in infertility. I left a message with the one in PG simply because it felt more close to home. And I continued to search forums of people who had advice on which doctors to see out there.

However, I kept wanting a more holistic approach. Something more than just drugs to make things happen. I totally believe in a healthy diet, but I've been trying for YEARS to eat healthier. And, although I have made some good changes in my families diet --- it is NOT ENOUGH! And, it gets so frustrating that sometimes I completely give up. I wish I didn't. I wish I were stronger, more devoted, had more support and on and on...

I got sidetracked and started looking into finding a nutritionist. If doctors want "$20,000" for IVF then shouldn't I be doing more for my body to prepare for a pregnancy? $20,000! And again, having a baby seemed unatainable. And the fact that there have been a lot of miscarriages on my side of the family always haunts me. If I do get pregnant, $20,000 later, that doesn't mean I'll keep it. Would it be a $20,000 heartbreak?

My sister hooked me up with her nutritionist.

I am so excited!!! (Just don't expect that same enthusiasm from my family.)

The nutritionist sent me a list of herbs and a 3-day detox to get started.

My sister picked up a bunch of "Dr. Christopher's" herbs for me yesterday.

I've been wondering how I am going to eat better... how I'm going to get more greens into my body and feel satisfied. How extreme do I need to get until it becomes enough?

As I thought about nourishing my body this morning,  I googled "Mormons and raw" which lead me to And the Lion Shall Lie Down with the Lamb: An LDS Member's View of Vegetarianism by Kevin D. Pomeroy and have since been pondering quite in depth about two specific ideas Pomeroy included in two of several essays:

The prophet Isaiah paints us a wonderful picture concerning the return of the Savior and his millennial reign. It will be a glorious time to live on the earth. The Lord says: “For, behold, I create new heavens and a new earth: and the former shall not be remembered.” (Isaiah 65:17) The tenth Article of Faith teaches us that “...the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.” It will be like the Garden of Eden. In Eden Adam and Eve only partook of the fruit of the trees and the herbs of the field.

During the millennium we will be able to truly reap what we sow. Isaiah prophesies that “they shall not build, and another inhabit; they shall not plant, and another eat: for as the days of a tree are the days of my people, and my elect shall long enjoy the work of their hands.” (Isaiah 65:22.) The Doctrine & Covenants support this by saying: “In that day an infant shall not die until he is old; and his life shall be as the age of a tree;” (D&C 101:30). Brigham Young comments on that day by saying: “When men live to the age of a tree, their food will be fruit.”

Even nature and the animals will be affected by this change. Isaiah presents this vision: “The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them. And the cow and the bear shall feed; their young ones shall lie down together: and the lion shall eat straw like the ox. And the sucking child shall play on the hole of the asp, and the weaned child shall put his hand on the cockatrice’ den.

They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain… (Isaiah 11:6-9). This is a pretty straightforward revelation. In God’s ideal world, a world that we currently don’t exist in, the Lord intends that the lion eat straw like an ox. He also wishes that creatures are not to be destroyed. In fact Isaiah goes as far to suggest the reason why this destruction ceases is not because of a physical change, but because of knowledge, a correct knowledge of the ways of the Lord. Isaiah reaffirms the same thoughts toward the end of his ministry as contained in : “The wolf and the lamb shall feed together, and the lion shall eat straw like the bullock: and dust shall be the serpent’s meat. They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain, saith the Lord.” (Isaiah chapter 65:25) … So understanding the state that we will be living during the millennium is of critical importance to the Lord.

…

Hyrum Smith, brother to the Prophet Joseph Smith and Assistant President of  the Church taught, “God...knows what course to pursue to restore mankind to...pristine excellency and primitive vigour, and health; and He has appointed the Word of Wisdom as one of the engines to bring about this thing, to remove the beastly appetites, the murderous disposition and the vitiated taste of man, to restore his body and vigour, promote peace between him and the brute creation, and as one of the little wheels in God’s design, to help to regulate the great machinery, which shall eventually revolutionize the earth, and bring about the restoration of all things.” (Times and Seasons 3:799-801)

…

Let the people be holy, and the earth under their feet will be holy. Let the people be holy, and filled with the Spirit of God, and every animal and creeping thing will be filled with peace; the soil of the earth will bring forth in its strength, and the fruits thereof will be meat for man. The more purity that exists, the less is the strife; the more kind we are to our animals, the more will peace increase, and the savage nature of the brute creation vanish away… Let the whole people… be possessed of that spirit and here is the Millennium, and so will it spread over all the world. (Teachings of Presidents of the Church, Brigham Young, p. 333)

Wow! So, this says that if all humans cared for animals as Adam did (because we are filled with the Spirit of God), it would take away the animals' "savage nature," even a bear's! We can take away animals' fierceness simply by being kind to them. (Isn't that so strange though --- because we're taught that human kindness will kill a wild animal! We hear of the one person being nice to one animal, that's all it takes is one person, to get an animal to trust humans, and then bang! the hunter's got 'em.) But take out the hunters, the abuse, add in God's kindness, and, we, humans and animals, could live together in peace, just as Isaiah prophesied would happen in the millenium. And this will happen because, we, as a people, will make it happen. And, so here I sit, pondering on this now instead of nutritional greens... Yet, I feel enlightened --- and am again considering vegetarianism. I'm not promising anything… it turns out I'm addicted to meat... although, it certainly doesn't seem bad and definitely seems the way of the future!

As a side note, my Blentec just arrived! So, I'm off to find something green to blend!!!

Ice Show 2012

Painting her surfboard for her part in the ice show.

Alyssa, a Hawaiian surfer, and, Payton, a ninga fighter.

Payton and Alyssa are both in the city's figure skating club --- and they LOVE it! (even though Daddy does NOT! Well, for Alyssa, it's ok, but, "Payton should be in hockey and Alyssa should try it..." I don't whole heartily agree. As long as I am the one driving them around, I feel that I get to choose what works best for us, at least until the kids have their own opinions on it.)

This year's ice show was "Disney Around the World" and the kids skated to Disney songs. Alyssa's little group skated to "Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride" from the movie Lilo and Stitch. Payton was one of five ningas and his group skated to "I'll Make a Man out of You" from the movie Mulan.

Her latest pose for the camera.

I tried to do something a little extra special in Alyssa's hair. She LOVED it. Then, I got out my makeup, her favorite, and started on her eyes. She looked in the mirror and burst into tears. I assured her the other girls would have their eyes painted too. She wouldn't believe me. With a little coaxing, and hoping to help make things better again, I put a bit of lipstick and blush on her. Still, she did NOT want "CAT EYES!" But we had to leave and I didn't want to smear black all over her eyes trying to take it off. So, finally, we compromised; if the other girls' eyes were not painted up, we would go into the bathroom and take it off.

Lookin' ninga tough.

Once inside the ice arena, we found the "guys" locker room and sent Payton in to hang his jacket and change into his skates. I went to the "gals" locker room with Alyssa and we got her situated. Fortunately, the eye makeup issue had disappeared. Payton stayed in his locker room. I finally decided it was time to hunt him down. There he was, sitting in the locker room with the other ningas, watching one of them play his DS. I had him come out while another little ninga told me to "Stay out!" in his best ninga impersonation. Payton showed me that his lip was about to crack and bleed. I didn't have chapstick on me (bad mom moment). So, I called Eli. He hadn't left the house yet, so he got some chapstick. Whew! At least I got something right tonight (good mom moment!) Then he was off, pretend fighting with another ninga!

Warming up.

More warming up. Payton is still all about speed on the ice.

Hanging out with the ningas --- should be warming up!  : )

Here they are!

On the way to the show, I remembered I didn't get gifts for Payton and Alyssa. I figured we'd go out for ice cream afterwards.

But, it was freezing and the kids were grumpy. Payton continued to ask why he didn't get a present. I wanted a family photo like we got last year, however, with Alyssa's feisty attitude, we didn't even try.

We were hungry. The kids choose Chinese, but they were closed so we went next door to Applebees. The kids wanted to go across town to get Mexican. We didn't. The interstate was closed so it was a busy night at Applebees; yet, we were quickly seated. With all the congestion in my lungs (4 weeks now) and sitting in a cold arena for the past 4 hours, hot chocolate sounded really good. I ordered that with a bowl of soup. The hot chocolate was good. The soup was not. The hot chocolate comes with free refils! Nice surprise. The hair on top of the whipped cream was not a nice surprise.

Back home, with warm, full tummies, we tucked our grumpies into bed and slept.

The next morning Alyssa confessed, "You were right Mommy, the other girls had their eyes painted too." And "That was the BEST DAY EVER!" "If I have little girls, I'm going to paint 'cat eyes' on them." It turns out that she may even want to do a solo next year....

I may not have experienced a natural high like I did after last year's show, but, I think Alyssa was still on one.