Our Adoption Story - Part 7 - Expecting

Part 1 - Infertility
Part 2 - Waiting
Part 3 - A New Goal
Part 4 - Comfort
Part 5 - Chosen
Part 6 - Charlotte

2005

This time, we feel very apprehensive and we decide not to tell anyone --- yet. Then, my sister-in-law announces she is pregnant and I can't help but share our good news with her and her mom. Otherwise, I don't really talk about it again until Christmas because Eli and I visit my family for the holidays. How can I not tell my family about the overwhelming excitement we are trying to endure?

January 6

On the big day, we choose a bouquet and meet the birth mother in the Albuquerque office. She is a Spanish lady, petite with a round tummy. Those could be our babies inside! Because of her circumstance, she will not be able to care for her babies in the way she wants. I can tell she carries a deep love for them. Her hope and desire is to give them more. Give them what she can not. She says, "I choose you. ... I am not going to change my mind." The exact words we heard only months earlier. Alarm bells are going off inside like crazy. I try to show excitement. I AM excited! But I am really scared, too. I can't internalize any of this. I want to know it is real first, but that will take more time and our meeting is NOW.

I cannot image dealing with the perdicament she is in. She is an incredibly unselfish woman to be able to recognize that adoption can give her babies a better life, and then, move forward with that decision. We want to give her babies all she hopes for them and more. If she does maintain her decision to place her babies, we pray that we will get that opportunity to raise them.

I make myself enroll in the spring semester, just in case the adoption falls through again. I enjoy all my classes. I study hard, but I'm very distracted. I can no longer help but be overly excited. One by one, I drop my classes again. How am I ever going to get through school this way? I do manage to take a test to see if I can get into the nursing program next year. I pick up more freelance work too.

Part 8 - Shopping