Our Adoption Story - Part 12 - Miracles

Part 1 - Infertility
Part 2 - Waiting
Part 3 - A New Goal
Part 4 - Comfort
Part 5 - Chosen
Part 6 - Charlotte
Part 7 - Expecting
Part 8 - Shopping
Part 9 - Birthday
Part 10 - Hospital
Part 11- His Will 


March 18, 2005

Exhausted, we sleep deeply. The next morning, we follow our plan. Getting my job back isn't so easy. My bosses are on vacation --- out of the country! I explain our situation to my old supervisor and give him my request about wanting to be hired back on, full-time --- and, then, be given maternity leave. I've NEVER considered cellphones a miracle in my entire life! Unfortunately, he can't get a hold of the bosses --- but, he can leave a message. I am LOVING technology!

Eli and I go back home --- and wait. We sit in front of the TV, not really watching it. We don't say much. We just wait. Finally, the phone rings! We jump. It turns out I have to go back in and explain exactly what I want from my old job, again. We head back into town. I am careful to be clear in that I won't be coming back to work after "maternity leave" in case that legally changes things. (We are so careful to do everything EXACTLY right because we don't want anything to come back and bite us in the butt at some random time in the future.) Their only request, that I work full-time for one week to make the full-time requirement legit. I can do that! He signs the employment form. Eli and I take the form to the adoption agency. It turns out Eli has spring-break next week, the week I will work full-time. He will be able to stay home with the babies that entire week! Another small miracle --- but, truly one.

Mary faxes my signed employment form to Headquarters in Salt Lake City. While she's faxing, we ask her if she'll let us know if we qualify. She tells us to just head back to Albuquerque and she'll give us a call when she knows. We obey. After a long drive and only ten minutes left to the hospital, we still haven't heard from Mary. We call her. No luck. Eli calls Brenda. She answers, but before we can ask, she is already talking, telling us she's got the babies in her backseat and to meet her in her office. Soooooo --- we qualify then? I have to ask. I cannot explain the euphoria I feel at this moment or the wonder of the miracle we are witnessing.

_________________________

At Brenda's office we see our babies dressed in sleepers that actually fit. They don't match, but, I don't care anymore! Hardly daring to believe this is real, I hold them close, breathing them in. I can't let go again. The reunion is incredible. "To good to be true for someone like me," is a repeating thought. In the meantime, we re-sign a ton of papers and I take more pictures. Brenda gets Charlotte on the phone and Eli and I sit ear-to-ear, on the love seat, with arms and hearts full; but, all are at a loss for words. We let her know we are taking the babies home with us now. We thank her again.

Yesterday, when Brenda told Charlotte that her babies didn't go home with us and that they had a plan for foster care while they found another couple, Charlotte had said, "They go home with Eli and Corinne, or they go home with me." Brenda said that without her pulling for us that way, we wouldn't be bringing them home. We are ever so grateful she stuck with us. (Another miracle.)

I can only imagine what it must have been like for Charlotte... choosing a couple to raise her babies, we believe she must have felt good about her choice, and, then, to suddenly have all she felt secure about in her adoption plan being replaced with the unknown --- by those who were suppose to be supporting her. How must that have been for her?

It's dusk now and it is a strange, but wonderful feeling to drive back home with babies in the backseat. My family is all celebrating a wedding right now. I call them to announce our good news. For some reason my brother, Rob, tells me to call the groom. I do. I tell him we're bringing our babies home. He can't talk, he's suppose to be doing the garter belt! Brothers! So, I have to call Rob back again and tell him to let the family know. I'm so happy I could burst while sharing our triumph. I am also anxious to get home. The babies are so quiet that for short moments I forget they're in the backseat. When I remember again, I get sort of an creepy feeling for having forgotten. I must have been exhausted.

At home, the house is empty, quiet. Eli's mom is working at the Albuquerque temple (she put us on the prayer roll earlier this morning). Eli's dad is working on the road tonight. When I realize we'll have the house to ourselves for the first night of being a family, I feel greedily thankful. However, soon Eli's grandma is over. Then, Eli's sister and her family show up. They love on our babies big time. This welcome home is so precious, perfect really --- it's wonderful to see their instant love and acceptance of the babies into our family. And, then I am glad we are not lone. I have to take more pictures. I believe these pictures will mean a lot to our babies someday. I want these pictures for Charlotte too. I want her too see her babies' arrival home being celebrated. However, Eli has had enough of the picture taking. I haven't taken nearly enough! But, I happy oblige, setting the camera down. It's so much more exciting to be part of this event than to be behind the camera.

Soon enough, we discover the diapers I had purchased for a newborn baby, are way too big! So are the tiny cloth diapers we made. Eli goes out to buy diapers for preemies.

When everyone goes home, and the house is quiet again, we tuck our brand-new babies in their tiny blankets and lay them side-by-side in their huge crib. Then we scoot them a little closer, so they are just touching. We stand and watch them sleep before kneeling down beside each other and offering a prayer of gratitude. We plead with our Father in Heaven to comfort Charlotte. We also know that any day she can still change her mind. This nagging bit of terror gets pushed into the back of my thoughts. We pray, perhaps a little selfishly, that she doesn't.

And that is how the first, of many, long sleepless nights began.

_____________________________

It is by many small and great miracles that Payton and Alyssa came to us. Looking back to certain events leaves no doubt in our minds that Heavenly Father's plan, from the beginning, was to place them with us. I could not bring their spirits to earth through my body, but Charlotte could. She, fortunately, had the wisdom and selflessness to trust her heart and chose to make one of the biggest sacrifices a mother can make for her unplanned baby, a plan of adoption. Charlotte wanted a mother and a father to raise her tiny babes. She recognized that her love for them was not all she hoped to give them. She desperately wanted more for them that she could give. She became our angel and will forever be part of our family. We love her and our children know that she loves them too.

Adoption is not selfish. It is the most selfless sacrifice a mother can make for her unplanned baby. It is a dream come true for the hopeful couple she chooses; and, gives her baby a stable, loving family and promising future. Adoption, however tragic it can seem, is a beautiful way to make things right again. Adoption blesses me daily through the joys of motherhood, a gift of which I will be eternally grateful for.

6 YEARS!!! We brought our babies home 6 years ago tonight! I LOVE being Mommy!






Our Adoption Story - Part 13 - Photos

Our Adoption Story - Part 11 - His Will

Today was an exciting morning for the kids. They found leprechaun footprints across the living room rug! I encouraged the kids to hurry and get ready for school so we could start looking for the treasure that he surely left somewhere in the house. The rule in our house is that you have to be dressed and have your bed made before you can get on the bus --- otherwise we get to walk. (I like walking with them.) Alyssa's room was a disaster! I helped her as much as I could while I also dressed Payton, showered myself, prepared breakfast and had individual morning prayer with each. In the meantime --- Payton wouldn't get his few items in his room put away because he kept searching for treasure. "There's no gold downstairs!" Arrrgh! (Ok, I'll admit, that was really funny!) So, although the kids got their stuff done, it was just as the bus pulled up. Oh, well. I guess we'll try the hunt when they get home. So, now I'm off to the store to find corned-beef and cabbage for tonight's Irish meal. (Maybe I'll pick up some green Jell-O, too.)

I also decided to put this post up early today because I didn't get it up yesterday. But, it works out better this way (it's more the time frame that things really happened six years ago.) Tomorrow's post will finish Our Adoption Story.

Part 1 - Infertility
Part 2 - Waiting
Part 3 - A New Goal
Part 4 - Comfort
Part 5 - Chosen
Part 6 - Charlotte
Part 7 - Expecting
Part 8 - Shopping
Part 9 - Birthday 
Part 10 - Hospital


March 16 and 17, 2005 (The two days that blended together.)

Arising early to go back to my babies, we are interrupted by the adoption agency's call. They asks us to meet them in their office. We drive there, but, somehow we end up talking to them in the parking lot with our ears both on my cell. They say, "One of you needs to have steady employment." I remind them about the income from our rental and assure them that we both have work. Eli works part-time doing work-study at the college. I can work part-time from home. We have separate money saved for the adoption. (We even got a small loan as a financial cushion --- for just-in-case.) They say, "It has to be a full-time job." They say, "The babies need medical insurance." I tell them about my visits to the Medicare office and the result. They tell us, "The babies can't leave the hospital without being insured." They tell us that we need to be insured. They ask if one of us can get a full-time job. My last job had asked me a few times to become a full-time employer. I was sure I could get hired back on full-time. Eli didn't want to start our family with me working and him at school. He feels very strongly about not bringing our babies home to a babysitter. We should be home with them. I agree, but, me working won't be permanent. Even if I did go to work, we'd still have the "insurance" problem. They say that if we, now, filled out an application for adoption with them, we wouldn't even qualify. I understood that everything had been updated and was in order! But, they have their rules. What about God's rules? He's the one in charge! We are so frustrated. I am physically upset. Every solution only brings another problem. They will NOT work with us. They can't work with us.

Finally, understanding comes --- they have no intention of letting us take the babies home. We hang up and pull into the parking lot behind their office. Oh, the excruciating PAIN inside my chest! The deep darkness swallowing me again. We cry like we have never cried before. I feel myself detaching from reality. After a while, we begin our long and painful drive home. We LEAVE OUR BABIES! I weekly remind myself that I don't want to miss my little brother's wedding. I need a new goal to focus on right now and it was to get there. It's a pitiful goal, because all I can think about is how we are turning our backs on the most incredible opportunity. I STILL WANT TO FIGHT! How am I going to put the pieces of my life (work, school, just living) back together again when I get home? I have no desire to move on. I feel so heavy.

But, what can I do? I plead in a silent prayer. I can't fight for them on my own. Eli has to want to fight, too. I had been so sure we would bring them home. Why? What was that whisper for? Must we try again? I think Eli's emotionally spent, he's done trying. But, I would try again... and again, and again! Just not now. All I can do now is put it in the Lord's hands. And suddenly I truly understand the significance of these words. We have done all we can do, if it is His will, He will help us with the rest! Surely, if they are meant to be ours, only HE can make it happen. Thy will be done --- not mine! I believe this. I know HE can make it happen if this is what should happen --- despite the reality of our situation. But, He might not.... Still, I take comfort knowing that it is God who is in charge, after all. Please, just let those babies go where You want them to be, where they will be deeply loved and cherished and brought up right.

Through tears, Eli says he's sorry. For what!?!? He says it's his fault because he didn't take school serious enough when we first got married and he kept dropping out of his classes and it brought us to the point of not bringing home the babies. But, he is going to school NOW! And there are 3 big companies wanting to hire him when he graduates in 4 weeks! No, it isn't his fault! From time to time we have to pull over because the tears get too heavy to see through. We cry until we can move on again.

___________________________

Entering the house, I see a large vase of white roses. Those were meant for a new mother and the reality that I am not a new mother hurts. I am trying, trying so hard, to hold the tears back. Through water-filled eyes, I sight the postcard that announces my acceptance into the nursing program. Today is the last day to accept my spot. I should get on that. But, I can't. I go to my room and cry instead.

Eli and I both request a priesthood blessing to get through this. Our bishop, who also has been doing all he can do to help the adoption go through, comes over. He and Eli's dad give Eli a priesthood blessing. He is counseled to not give up without exploring every option. That, and hoping Eli will heed that counsel is all I remember. The bishop keeps telling us, "There is Headquarter's way and then there's the Lord's way." I couldn't agree more --- those have been my thoughts exactly. My sister calls and suggests I go back to work full-time and take maternity leave. It might work... I don't understand "maternity leave" rules exactly, but I could find out. Eli's mom has been working with a cousin to see what he can do for us about catastrophic insurance. We schedule to meet with him in the morning.

We set up a plan-of-action for the next morning. I don't remember the exact order anymore, but it goes something like: Sign paperwork for Medicare for babies (thanks to my mother-in-law and the man in charge there). Sign paperwork for catastrophic insurance for us (thanks again to my mother-in-law). See about getting a full-time job with maternity leave (thanks to my sister's inspiration). We'll go back into town one more time if necessary. If we still aren't getting anywhere, we have to let go. We'll miss my brother's wedding, but I'll regret not doing everything possible to bring my babies home.

Charlotte had planned on a natural birth. Because baby girl didn't turn, she had had a c-section. Because of that, she had 4 days in the hospital to recover. So, the babies had 4 days in the hospital as well. That bought us time. (Another miracle?) Tomorrow, however, that time will be up.


Part 12 - Miracles

Leprechaun's Treasure Hunt

I grew up with a love for treasure hunts. My older brother is the BEST treasure hunt maker! His are a real challenge. His treasure hunts don't have a lot of clues, but the ones he creates are HARD. I have tried to race my 2 sisters to the end before, but, I can't remember who won. All I remember is spending DAYS sometimes, trying to break codes without a key. It was hard and frustrating, so, when I did break them --- I was ecstatic!

My homemade treasure hunt isn't nearly so tricky (my hunters are only 6); but, it's not a piece of cake either. Hopefully, it will last a good hour or two. And, hopefully, it won't be too discouraging if they prefer something a little more fast paced. If your kids are up for a bit o'challenge --- mine might do the trick!

I've never gone out of my way to celebrate St. Patrick's Day other than to make sure I have some visible green on me somewhere. (Once, when I was little and not wearing green, my older brother had me so worried about getting pinched that when I went outside to ride my tricycle, I REALLY thought I was getting pinched!!!) I also happened to celebrate it twice with a friend and I remember her mom made green Jell-O and green punch. We probably had green beans too. We watched that leprechaun movie. A few years later I celebrated again with her and didn't even realize it was St. Patrick's Day until dinner rolled around and we were eating green Jell-O and drinking green punch again. We even watched that leprechaun movie again! I thought it was so neat that this was their tradition and I got to be part of it! How cool is that?

Eli's mom makes corned beef and cabbage. The recipes I have found haven't turned out all that wonderful, not that they were bad. It just seems like I've had better. Maybe it's because I always look for a crock-pot recipe. Perhaps you have something better you could share with me this year?

This year, I've created a treasure hunt for my kids, but I don't mind sharing it. A good friend inspired me to celebrate this boring green holiday before she moved away. So, this year I am going to cut out my own little green leprechaun feet. Instead of them leading to a treasure right off, it will lead them to the first clue in a tricky "Leprechaun Treasure Hunt" with fun activities and snacks along the way, and a Pot-O-Gold at the end of a homemade rainbow. I hope my two are up for a bit o'challenge. We'll begin it first thing in the morning and finish it after they get back home from school.

For those who are interested in giving my Leprechaun Treasure Hunt a try, here it is. (If you would like a .pdf of the hunt, leave your email address in the comments. I will be happy to sent it to you.)

*You will build a rainbow that looks like the one above with the clues, the colored circles lay on top of each other with the largest (red) on the bottom and the smallest (purple) on the top. The round decoder (small white circle) goes centered on the very top (I forgot to mention that part in Clue #8). Once those are stacked, make sure to turn each circle so that the shamrocks line up (on the right side). Finish with the "cloud" on the very top. Then, fold the whole thing in half along the shamrocks. Hold it up to a mirror to read the final clue, it will take you to the treasure "at the end of the rainbow" (Pair of Boots). Hope this helps!

Instructions & other info. --- Print on WHITE

Clue #1 (front) --- Print on WHITE

Clue #1 (back) --- Print on WHITE

Clue #2 (front) --- Print on RED

Clue #2 (back) --- Print on RED

Clue #3 (back) --- Print on ORANGE

Clue #3 (front) --- Print on ORANGE *WHOOPS! On 6 across I blacked in the last box. It's suppose to fit "clover."

Clue #4 (front) --- Print on YELLOW

Clue #4 (front) --- Print on YELLOW

Clue #5 (back) --- Print on GREEN

Clue #5 (front) --- Print on GREEN *WHOOPS! I didn't get "mold" into the word search. This clue is too hard for young kids, it's even tricky for adults. Sorry about that. (Next year's will be a little easier.)

Clue #6 (back) --- Print on BLUE

Clue #6 (front) --- Print on BLUE

Clue #7 (front) --- Print on PURPLE

Clue #7 (back) --- Print on PURPLE

Clue #8 (coin insert) --- Print on GOLD --- compass directions go with Clue #2

Clue #8 (pot envelope) --- Print on GREEN or WHITE

(leprechaun footprints) --- Print on GREEN (as many as you need)

EXTRA (compass directions) --- Print on GOLD or GREEN

Our Adoption Story - Part 10 - Hospital

Part 1 - Infertility
Part 2 - Waiting
Part 3 - A New Goal
Part 4 - Comfort
Part 5 - Chosen
Part 6 - Charlotte
Part 7 - Expecting
Part 8 - Shopping
Part 9 - Birthday


March 15, 2005

The next morning we quickly shower, dress and eat. Eli finishes installing the car seats. I take pictures of everything for our babies to look back on when we tell them the story of this day. My picture taking is driving Eli nuts --- but, I feel compelled.

We previously purchased a heart-shaped locket for this day, for Charlotte to put pictures of her babies in, if she wants too. On our way out we stop at the town's flower shop. It feels so lame to pick out a bouquet for someone who is giving us so much more. I want it to be beautiful and something she can look at and maybe feel something good, perhaps a bit of our love for her. Not too big, not to fancy, but something special. I guess I don't really know what to get her that would express our gratitude. Finally, we choose a simple spring bouquet. It somehow seems fitting. I hope it is.

I hold the bouquet the entire long drive. My feelings about the flowers go back and forth. I am so anxious. Finally, we get there. Just through the hospital doors we meet Brenda, Charlotte's facilitator. (She is helping Charlotte through her adoption plan.) We follow her into an elevator and go up a few levels. As the elevator slows to a stop, the knots in my stomach tighten. Soon, we enter Charlotte's room. It's an awkward greeting. We must have given her the flowers. Two  nurses roll the babies in. But, we have arrived too early. She wants her babies baptized first. Baptized!?!? I don't! (Of course, I don't say so.) We exit the room and wait. Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we are taught babies are born innocent and I believe it! If they die before the age of accountability (8 years old) then they return straight back to live with our Heavenly Father. But, my faith is not hers. And they are not my babies --- yet. And, anyway, an infant baptism won't count for anything in my faith. As we wait, I calm myself, but, they don't baptize the babies. I don't know why not exactly, but I, secretly, am relieved.

Back in Charlotte's room, we get to hold them. I am afraid we are holding her babies too long, but we keep holding them. They are so beautiful and so tiny! Charlotte shows us pictures of the night before with her other two sons, Jesse (21) and Phillipe (19?), loving on them and saying good-bye to their precious new siblings. I decide it was good we didn't disturb that last night. (Thank you Eli for keeping us home!) Now, we get to take the pictures. But, this time, I hate taking the pictures --- I take them only because I still feel compelled. I want our babies to see this day. I want them to know it is a happy day for us. Charlotte asks to have both babies. I take a picture of her holding the two, not realizing what she is preparing to do. It's a beautiful picture. (This is the picture that will begin their baby album.) She then places her baby girl in Eli's arms and her baby boy in mine. I take more pictures as the meaning of what she just did sinks in.

A nurse comes in and we have to lay the babies back in their roll-away cribs. We start leaving too. I panic! I didn't say what I wanted to say! What did I want to say? I didn't know. I couldn't think. I check with Eli to confirm that this is the end of our visit. He nods. I looked back and see a tear stream down Charlotte's cheek. I want to run to her. Give her some sort of comfort that I can not give. We are leaving with her babies! Following the babies back to the nursery, I force those unpleasant feelings out of my mind. Wouldn't she want me to be happy? She made me their mother! My anxiety dispels with joy.

_______________________

(The rest of the week is a fuzzy memory. Some events may be slightly out of order, in fact, a whole day seems to have gone missing! The following is told the best I can remember it.)

We must have gone back out for the car seats because a nurse present us with the babies' tiny footprints and I set those memorabilia inside one of those. Both babies have the same flat foot. Inside the nursery, I first remember pulling out the little newborn-size gown my mother-in-law bought for the first baby girl (the first one we were going to adopt but didn't). It's long and white with pink trim and tiny pink flowers on the bodice --- it's beautiful. It's also way too big for her. In fact, everything I brought is too big --- except one little pink headband. I dress her in the gown anyway, because I have nothing better for her. Then, I am suppose to change her diaper with Eli and the nurse watching. She is so tiny with only a round rump --- no bum cheeks! My husband is so nervous for me that it seems to become an impossible task. But, I do it --- ever so carefully. Once accomplished, a nurse shows us the tiny milk bottles and lets us know how much they drink. The nurses already have them on a schedule. Baby boy eats first. 1/2 hour later, baby girl eats. They will need to be fed every 3 hours. I feel terribly guilty I can not give them mother's milk.

In the meantime, we are given forms to write their names on. Eli writes my middle name down for our girl and Charlotte for her middle name. Payton is a name Eli and I found in a baby name book (since he won't go for Joshua). I really wanted Ezekiel or, maybe, Andrew, instead. Eli asks me for the boy's name. I am to choose his? But, how can I choose on the spot? So, I choose the one we had picked together, Payton and Job after Eli's middle name. They are named now. But I can't seem to call them by the names we chose. I find myself calling my boy, Little Mister, instead.

A nurse sends us to a section of the nursery where we can be alone with the babies. We hold and rock them while admiring their newness. They feel like nothing and bundled in a blanket they look much too small. I can't get enough of their baby smell. There hair is feathery soft black with gentle waves. I am fascinated with Alyssa's crinkled and almost pointed ears. She is so beautiful --- like a little princess.

As I feed, change and rock my helpless babies over and over, a feeling of great responsibility overcomes me. I begin to see how these simple little tasks of love are never-ending and will become my life for months on end. I am already beginning to tire --- yet, I desire and welcome these feelings as a blessing from God. However, I do feel so ignorant and unqualified and I wish for my own mother to take my hand and give me step-by-step instructions. Knowing that other new mother's have started parenthood with little to no experience encourages me.

I hold my baby boy out in front of me. He opens his eyes and seems to take me in. As I stare back into his eyes, I make promises to do my best at being a good mom for him and his sister. I do want so badly to be good enough for them. It feels like we are speaking to each other's souls through our eyes. I feel a deep, deep love for them begin to grow inside of me. Eli tells of a similar experience he has while holding Alyssa.

We wait and wait and wait for them to release our babies from the hospital. A nurse tell us we can take a break whenever we want. We wait for the babies to go to sleep. But we can't break away from them.

__________________________________

Hours later, Brenda comes back. She says she needs to meet with us. Then, maybe we can go. We leave the twins nestled together in one little crib to visit with Brenda in an empty waiting room. She asks us about a 20-hours program we needed to have done. Since we aren't doing foster care, we thought it didn't need to be done. We frantically rack our brain for any type of parent training we have received over the past year. Fortunately, we have done several hours in our 20-hours workbook. It is easy for me to come up with more than 20 hours because of other books I have read. She gives Eli a new 20-hours workbook to work on.

We learn, through her, that LDS Family Services' Headquarters will not release the babies to us tonight. We decide to check into a motel before going back to our babies. It's hard leaving them at the hospital. We must have grabbed a bite for dinner. After we check into a motel we get a phone call. That's when the nightmare begins.

Somehow, we find ourselves talking with Brenda in her office. She asks us on a scale of 1 - 10 how upset we would be if we didn't bring home the babies. How can you measure that? 10? No, not 10. 20? "30! maybe 100," I respond. She says stuff about other children needing a home. But in my heart I know there won't be another time. My heart can't take anymore of this, at least, not anytime soon. We take our dispair back to the motel.

This just can't be right! I feel so let down. We thought that the adoption was good-to-go. We've had 2 adoption facilitators helping us get everything in order. Now, headquarters is telling us that there are plenty of couples ready to take these babies home now. They say our babies will go into foster care and then to another couple. How can they be so cruel! Why won't they work WITH us! They brought us here! I poor my heart into a letter to Headquarters about our desire to adopt, our entire financial situation (which seems to be the problem), including what we have in our mortgage, and how much I desire to be these babies' mom --- but it doesn't do a bit of good. In the meantime, Eli's mom is back at home doing what she can about the Medicare issue. I just want to go back and hold the babies, but, there's just too much stuff to be doing while my heart is breaking.

Part 11 - His Will

Our Adoption Story - Part 9 - Birthday

Part 1 - Infertility
Part 2 - Waiting
Part 3 - A New Goal
Part 4 - Comfort
Part 5 - Chosen
Part 6 - Charlotte
Part 7 - Expecting
Part 8 - Shopping


Shopping for car seats is the worse. I work all day, then, spend my entire evening looking for the perfect infant car seats. Determined to find something tonight, I shop every store in the city, some of them twice. I am not excited about my choices, but, I finally choose a matching pair. In the morning, I try installing the seats. That evening, I insist Eli do the installing. I read and reread the instructions to make sure my poor husband does it exactly right.

March 14, 2005

Monday, I put in a full day at work and as I am finishing up the receptionist informs me that I have a call on line 1. I answer. My babies have been born --- 4 weeks early! They are healthy and all are doing well. I am confused because we were suppose to be called when she went to the hospital to deliver and I am so disappointed that I didn't know earlier. "Why?" But, I am too busing trying to find a scrap paper to jot down the rambled off details to ask. The boy was born first, he's just over 6 pounds, and, the baby girl, born 3 minutes later, weighs just under 6 pounds. I announce it to my coworkers and tell them good-bye. I won't be coming back. I'M A MOM! I drive home to get Eli and grab my little baby bag. Then, we'll be off to the hospital --- I can't wait to see them!

But... Eli wants to find new car seats. He doesn't care much for the ones I found. Fine! Let's go get some. We look and look and look. Oh, I am anxious to leave and don't want to be pushy --- but we are looking at all the same ones I have already looked at! Finally, he decides on a pair of matching, over-priced, Winnie-the-Pooh carriers. We go back home to install them. At home, we get a phone message telling us that they are waiting to see if the little girl will turn before they do a c-section. It seems kind of weird to me because we have already been told they are born. (It occurs to me now, as I write this, that the message must have been left earlier in the day.) The seats don't install quickly. It's getting late much too fast. WHY CAN'T WE JUST LEAVE! I can't stand this waiting! Finally, Eli tells me we're NOT going tonight. NOT GOING TONIGHT?!?! These are our babies! I want to scream, but, I don't want to fight, so I relent. We'll do it his way. As I change my focus and take a few deep breaths, I realize it has gotten really late. I certainly don't want to bother Charlotte at midnight. (Oh, how I do want to peek through the nursery windows though.)

My little brother will be getting married on Friday. I make arrangements to make it to that. Our sister-in-law will watch our babies while we are in the temple. (It turns out we need special permission from LDS Family Services to take the babies out of the state. So, we get that.) I try to pack a suitcase for the babies, but, there are so many extra little details to worry about now, and, since the adrenaline rush earlier --- I am tired! My mother-in-law will finish packing for the wedding part of the trip. However,m Eli does not want to travel with band-new babies. Me, I can't wait to show them off.

Part 10 - Hospital